LATE NIGHT RAMBLINGS

I was so very excited. ZC and I decided at about 8pm to lay down and work on her summer reading project together. The topic of the summer reading project for a 4th going into 5th grader is a whole other rant .... so we decided to read. She was given a choice and 1 of the 2 required readings she chose is this one --------------------------------------------->

It wasn't long before I started to feel the effects of laying down in my bed ... you know the uncontrollable yawning, eye lids sagging kind of affects and well, i was praying for the last page of chapter 1. Knowing the effects, signs and symptoms of taking on any task while laying in my bed my sweet ZC suggested we stop there. Yeah I am sure she was looking out for me ... no ulterior motives or anything. :) It was probably only minutes before I drifted off into a sweet sweet sleep and preparation for a full day tomorrow. Wellll, not exactly. I did indeed drift off to a sweet sleep before 10 pm and wouldn't you know wide awake by midnight! Yes, what I thought would be an all nighter was mearly a cat nap. Not only did I wake up but I awoke in a panic. Things are so crazy and as much as I hate to even admit it so much of it revolves around money. That is usually what my worries are about. As a parent we are responsible for caring for our children. responsible for meeting there needs and DESIRE to even provide some of there wants. I mentioned on my FB the other day it was "wedding Wednesday". I needed to sit down and do some planning for these incredible couple right here

I am really good at trying to escape the inevitable. Miss M and I have done some planning, decided on some decor and menu etc. We took all my grand ideas and whittled them down to something i believed to be manageable and the thing is that these two deserve my big grand ideas! Miss M decided at an early age not to get caught up in the roller coaster and senseless heartbreak of teenage dating. She committed to God that she would trust Him to bring her life mate and HE did exactly that. In an instant C showed up in the picture and I knew that I knew that I knew that God had not only hand picked him for Miss M .... God had created him for Miss M and there you have it. Apart from this little staged peck on the cheek the couple will not kiss until their wedding day.  So my heart hurts that I cannot create this one of a kind most incredibly special day that I have envisioned and Miss M being who she is has said over and over that it's ok, she understands and has totally surprised me by understanding the fact that as a single mom working 2 jobs she is ok with what we have planned ... PROBLEM BEING .... after planning on Wedding Wed. I am still not sure how this is going to happen and at this moment I would like to totally be all spiritually mature and say .... well I know God has this. I know He will come through etc .... but in honest heart to heart truth .... I don't even know! I don't even know. NOW SIDE NOTE HERE I AM NOT FOR A SECOND QUESTIONING MY FAITH IN A GREAT BIG GOD AS MY CREATOR, AS THE LOVER OF MY SOUL AS MY FATHER AND MY SALVATION. I KNOW GOD CREATED ME, HE SENT HIS SON JESUS TO DIE FOR ME TO PAY THE PRICE FOR MY SIN AND PROVIDE A WAY FOR ME TO ETERNITY! What I am in a panic over are the everyday things, not even the "have to's" but the "want to's" While to some a beautiful wedding may seem so insignificant and ultimately as I have watched so many "life and death" situations unfold before me  in the last couple of months in the big scheme of the world they may be but I know the significance to this couple, i know the significance to my girl who for 22 years has really had to sacrifice a great deal as the oldest daughter to a single parent with a very limited income.  This sweet girl who went with me to college and sat in the student breakroom while I finished clinic or helped with her younger brother while I studied for finals. My "panic" stems from the fact tht I know I suck at handling money .... it never seems to matter how much comes in, it's always less than what goes out. I have made budget after budget and well, it never pans out. I have given and not given and it never pans out .... I just don't know. I just don't know. I type all this as if it were the only issue and it's not. There is a birthday gift for a certain 16 year old I still have not delivered and well that is just a couple of the major things. I want so badly to give to my kids.  Please don't walk away from this thinking that the only worry is monetary ... it's not .... it's what the monetary represents to me. It's what the provision of the wedding or the birthday present represent to me. The material gifts are a representation of something far deeper a representation of my commitment to them. Oh and I am just feeling like a failure in that respect.  I am sure there will be lessons learned in this and a chance for growth .... it's just where I am tonight at now 4 am!

FACT OR FICTION FRIDAY!

There are so many myths surrounding the privilege of being a host or consultant with The Pampered Chef and I am here to dispel them all!

FACT OR FICTION?
ALL PAMPERED CHEF CONSULTANTS LOVE TO COOK! OR I COULDN'T POSSIBLE BE A PAMPERED CHEF CONSULTANT, I HATE TO COOK.


This is most definitely NOT true! FICTION! Cooking is far from my favorite thing to be doing! In fact like many other Pampered Chef consultants what made me passionate about the products is how they make the necessary task of feeding your family easier and faster! Prior to ordering my Pampered Chef consultant kit I thought PC tools were nothing more than overpriced luxury items for your kitchen. I have never been further from the truth. In fact when my director taught me how to cook a full meal for my family from fresh ingredients in one pot (the Deep Covered Baker) in LESS than 30 minutes a passion was ignited. A passion to help other mom's. I wanted to remove any reason to ever feel guilty again because they didn't have time to cook and fed their family from the drive thru, or processed frozen convenience food and a box pasta.  So there you have it. I don't love to cook and neither do many of my fellow PC consultants. In fact it is quite the opposite and more often than not the driving force that got us started in this business was about teaching mom's that cooking doesn't have to take hours out of their day!